I don’t know why but it’s set me off. I’ve been thinking over and over about what I should be doing with my life and where I want to be by the time I turn 24.
24 doesn’t sound old but I keep comparing myself to my mum. She had two kids by the time she was 23. Two kids?! I don’t even trust myself to raise a kitten let alone a child. Does that make me less responsible than her or just lucky?
I didn’t mean that to sound harsh, I’m sure being a parent is lovely. I just couldn’t imagine anything more inconvenient or annoying right now.
Like I said, I keep thinking about what I should be doing with my life. For a start, I no longer want to be freelancing and hoping every week I’m going to have work to do. I’m scraping £400 a month and that’s not where I should be.
I love my job, I really do. I get to write, film and be creative. I have the privilege of using my degree; something many never get the chance to do. I just wish it could be more permanent. 40 hours a week, even 30. Just something to get me up in the morning and not moping around the house looking for something to do.
The extra money would be nice too. I’ve played Tycoon games since I was 10. Mum’s always told me I’m going to be rich someday, because I’ve been obsessed with making money and saving since I was old enough to start working. I guess that’s what really gets me down about freelancing. I want to devote all of my time into this job, but I know right now it cannot get me the money I desire. So what do I do? Get myself stuck in some dead end office job that means nothing to me but pays well? Or suck it up for a few months and hope something will come of the freelancing?
I guess it’s ok when you’re still living with your parents. Everything you earn you can spend. I’d be more than happy with £400 a month if that was the case. Unfortunately there’s rent to be paid, bills, christmas approaching and food costs… It’s never ending. I need to be earning double what I make now if I have any chance of coping by myself.
So where do I want to be by the time I’m 24? I want to live comfortably. Not rich by any means, just comfortable. I want to be making at least £800 a month and be able to say I have a job I enjoy. At least then the lower income has a worth.